Sue Says Farewell
At their best, eulogies are loving tributes to a special friend or relative that catch the essence of the person and why he or she mattered to those who survive. Sue delivered a touching eulogy to Caddy September 6 at a memorial service at St. Clare’s Episcopal Church in Snoqualmie, Washington. Caddy, also a former president of the association, was much loved and respected by members of both his family and the association.
Here is Sue’s eulogy to this exceptional man whom she married in 1961.
“Caddy was a salesman. He always said he wanted only one word on his tombstone: ‘Peddler’. He was proud of it and good at it. I was introduced to the salesman exactly 64 years ago this month.
I had just graduated from Mt. Holyoke College and was living in West Hartford, CT, with a classmate, both of us brand new teachers. We were both unattached so when Donna asked, “Sue, who do you know at Trinity College?” I was all ears. Most of the boys I knew at the all-men’s college in Hartford had graduated, but I knew one. “I’ll call Bob” I said. “OK,” Donna answered, “I’ll call Caddy. Let’s invite the boys out for dinner.” We flipped a coin to see who would make the first call. I lost and called Bob.
“Sorry, Sue, no can do,” Bob said when I called. “It’s pledge week at the Beta house and I have to be here. Can I take a raincheck?”
“Your turn,” I said, and Donna called Caddy.
“Donna! Great to hear from you!” Caddy purred. “Say! It’s pledge week and we have a crisis here at the Deke house. Lots of guys graduated in June and we’re down to seven brothers. It’s so bad that national headquarters has sent a rep to help us recruit. He’s told us if we don’t pledge at least 20 guys they are going to shut down the house. So I can’t come out, but, hey! (syrupy tone) why don’t you and your roommate come into the Deke house? We’re throwing a barbecue for the pledges, and we could use some lovely females at the party.” So off we went.
Caddy met us in the living room with two brothers. “I’m going to put you in the good hands of my brothers, Walt and John,” he purred. “We had a little event this morning when our brother who was tonight’s chef was hauled off by his girlfriend’s father toting a shotgun. I got the job and have to grill hamburgers for all the pledges. You hang with Walt and John and look like the Deke house is the best on campus. I’ll see you after dinner.” And with that Caddy was gone.
I smiled at Walt. He was just starting law school at Yale. “Hmmm! I thought,” “Good prospect!” We bellied up to the bar and proceeded to have a very nice evening.
About eleven as the party was winding down, Walt said, “Let’s go out to a local bar I know.” I was just grabbing my purse when Caddy suddenly appeared sweaty and a bit worse for wear. “We’re all going to the Heiblein for a drink,” he said, smiling at me.
“Sorry,” I said, “I just told Walt I’d go out with him.”
“Walt!” Caddy exclaimed, grabbing Walt by the arm and hauling him into a corner. They chatted for a couple of minutes. Then Walt came over looking apologetic. “Sorry, Sue” he said, smiled and left. So I went out with Caddy and his friends. We immediately hit it off and talked till 2:00 a.m.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said as we parted. He didn’t call the next day, or the next, or the next.
“Well!” I said to Donna, Wednesday evening “I guess that was a lost cause.” Then the phone rang. It was Caddy.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “The national rep just left. We pledged 22 guys and I’m finally free and the house is saved. Let’s go out and celebrate.”
We did. Ten days later he gave me his Deke pin. We were engaged at Easter and married on the 23rd of December, 1961. I enjoyed 63 years of married life with the best salesman I ever met. But no matter how often I asked he would never tell me what he had said to Walt that night at the Deke house.
I miss him.”
